Three Steps for a Better Year
As we come to the end of the year
and anticipate the start of the new one most people will reflect on the year
that was and wonder about the year that is to be. And with time off from work
and holiday celebrations all around it is a natural and common time for ongoing
reflection. Where are you in your life now and where do you want your life to
be headed in the New Year? Of course, many people come up with New Year
resolutions. Often they involve eating better and exercising more to be healthy
(and to lose weight). Or people resolve to find a romantic partner or improve
the relationships that they already have right now. Many vow to find a better
job, get a promotion or salary increase, or accomplish an important work or
life goal of some sort.
While deep reflection regarding our
lives and thoughtful planning for the New Year can be a terrific exercise now I
would like to suggest three simple steps that I believe will guarantee a better
start to 2015 for you (and for those around you). After working with so many
clinical patients in my practice about this topic and reviewing the research
literature as well I strongly believe that if you take just a little time to do
the following three things you’ll start the year off better and will be happier
to boot.
1. Gratitude. As you come to the end of this year and welcome the new
one take a moment to list 12 things that you are grateful for now. These items
might include your health, a particular
friend, family member, or other relationship, a favorite vacation or
experience, or whatever else you wish to list. These could be big things (e.g.,
good health or an important relationship) or very minor ones (e.g., a favorite
food item). Please write them down and place your list somewhere that you can
see them regularly. Research has clearly shown that when you reflect on what
you are grateful for (and focus your attention there) you will more likely feel
better, will be more optimistic, and less stressed or depressed.
2. Kindness. Make a point to express kindness and compassion to people
each day. It could be a simple polite gesture to a stranger or a favor for a
friend but make a point to say a kind word, offer a friendly smile, or any
other act of kindness/compassion. Research shows that expressing kindness and
compassion also makes us feel better, less stressed, anxious, depressed, and
more optimistic too.
3. Acceptance. Take a moment to remind yourself that you live in the world
that you live in with the people and conditions that you are surrounded by.
Certainly you can work to change your life circumstance or your environment for the better
in the New Year but there is great wisdom in the serenity
prayer: Change what you can, accept what you can’t change and work to know the
difference. Again, research supports the notion that you will be happier and
more optimistic if you work to let go of the things that you can’t change and
make efforts to accept that reality. Don't fight what you change can’t...accept
it and move on.
